How to Stop Resisting Joy and Fully Embrace the Moment
Photo by S&B Vonlanthen on Unsplash
Impermanence has become a buzzword lately, especially in spiritual circles. But recently, I’ve been noticing its relevance in the smaller moments of life — and more importantly, how resisting impermanence can keep one stuck, particularly when it comes to feeling joy.
The first time I read Mary Oliver’s poem Don’t Hesitate, I instantly fell in love. It felt like a permission slip to embrace joy fully. Over the past year, I’ve made a conscious effort to be more childlike, to shake off the serious, grown-up version of myself. And I thought I was doing well — I felt more joy in my life.
But earlier this week, I received a video of my friend’s daughter laughing heartily as she enjoyed her new swing. Her infectious joy made me smile, but my immediate thought was, I always want her to be this happy. I even asked my friend if she ever felt a tinge of fear or found herself praying when she saw her daughter so blissful.
Her response was simple: I feel very grateful.
That’s when it hit me — I may not have unlocked my full emotional range. Maybe I still hold back from experiencing the highest highs out of fear of the lowest lows.
Why are we so attached to always, never, forever? Happily ever after. Best friends forever. We long for permanence in things that are inherently impermanent, yet we avoid thinking about the one certainty — death. (Death is the only permanent thing in life. Unless, of course, you count rebirth, as Hindu philosophy suggests.)
The next day, the same friend shared something from Sahil Bloom. He used a water analogy — one of my favorite ways to understand life.
The Surfer Mentality: When a surfer gets up on a wave, they enjoy the present moment, even though they know with certainty that the wave will eventually end. They fully enjoy THIS wave, with the wisdom and awareness that there are always more waves coming.
The way he expanded on this resonated deeply:
Surfers know that 90% of their time isn’t spent riding waves, but paddling and waiting. Sometimes, the waiting stretches so long that they wonder if a good wave will ever come again. But they trust that patience and positioning are all that matter when the next wave inevitably arrives.
Surfers understand that the only way to experience the thrill of a wave is to put themselves out in the water. Sitting on the shore guarantees nothing. Sure, there’s always a risk of getting crushed by a wave, but the reward is worth it.
So, where in your life are you hesitating — staying on the shore — just because you know the wave won’t last forever?
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